BIKEBRITTANYBIKE

PONY TALES

This is over a foot of my hair, which I cut off the day I returned to Connecticut and sent away to Locks of Love.

Even though suddenly cutting your hair off is considered a sign of psychosis, (oh yeah, I am about to make a meaningful life metaphor from a haircut, GET READY) it felt necessary. The end of Bike & Build has been like a bad breakup: the dramatic haircut, constantly listening to summer songs, creeping through everyone’s B&B albums on facebook, watching bad Sci-Fi movies*, and drinking copious amounts of gin & tonics and red wine**. After 10 weeks of no makeup and wearing the same 2 shirts (when I wasn’t wearing dirty spandex) over and over, my hair was the last shred of vanity I had left. So it’s gone, and it will make a hell of a Disney Princess wig for some deserving soul.

In all seriousness, the readjustment process (aka realizing that real life is completely lackluster in comparison) is a bitch. On May 27th, I had my final critique of my senior thesis at RISD. The week afterward, leading up to my graduation on June 4th, I said goodbye to everything from that chapter of my life: my loom, the path I walked everyday to reach my studio, my favorite coffee shop, the changing strip of colored lights at the top of my favorite skyscraper, and dozens of sickeningly talented and incredible artists and friends. On August 27th, I reached Vancouver and completed my cross-country ride. The week afterward, leading up to when I moved into my sister’s apartment in Boise on September 4th (I’m not lying about these dates. Weird coincidence, right?) I said goodbye to the 56 new places I had loved that had once been my home for a night, 33 new family members, and a gypsy lifestyle that I am bitter I cannot permanently adopt. While it’s been a nice lesson to realize that I actually do need people, there has been a borderline unbearable amount of goodbyes in a three month span.

I laid low in Boise, Idaho for a few weeks, and it was good. Visits with family that I have not seen in 9 years, being able to sit in on my sister’s classes and see firsthand how incredible of a teacher she is, curling up on a couch and making my way through a stack of books, catching up on movies at the dollar theater, watching things like this, finally seeing and understanding my sister’s life there. My sister had been pushing to set me up (uh oh, looks like Zabet’s blog isn’t the only one with TMI now!) with a friend of hers, which was really great until he asked me how much longer I was staying for. 3 days, I realized. When we saw him the next night, I was withdrawn, weird, and sort of sabotaged things for myself. I just… need a break from becoming attached to things and then leaving them. Apologies, dude.

I am now back in Connecticut, housesitting for my parents while they’re cruising*** the Alaskan coast. I’ve been searching for jobs, slowly regaining complete use of my hands, brainstorming/sketching ideas for a collection of knits and prancing around the house to this****. It’s nice being back in the “world”, catching up on pop culture and reading the September issue of Vogue and wearing red lipstick during the day… but I’m obviously feeling a little claustrophobic and stagnant. Though I never, EVER would regret Bike & Build, my peers got a headstart on finding cool and hip (haha) design jobs, and I am left researching circuses to run away with.

But I mean… the real world is going to be cake. If RISD and Bike & Build have taught me anything, it’s that I’m sort of a badass (Programming and weaving jacquards on no sleep? Climbing the Rockies? Biking through 25mph headwinds? NO BIG DEAL!), people are kind, things will work out, and I actually trust that I can do it.

I’ll be fine.